Overcoming The Trauma of an Abortion

… When I found out that I was pregnant, I knew immediately that I had to have an abortion. I struggled with the idea and wrestled with my intense desire to be a mother. You see, there are few things that I know I am meant to do in life.  I do know that I…

Utilizing Social Media to Upgrade Your Self-Esteem

(First published on Wear Your Voice Magazine 2015) I am one of the lucky fat women. I have a strong core of like-minded (and bodied) female friends, even if they are flung across the States and the rest of the world. I have a mate whom I am incredibly attracted to. I know where to…

Crystal Carmen: Beauty Entrepreneur and Total Bad Ass

(Originally published 6/12/15 at Wear Your Voice) Last night I had the honor of speaking with Crystal Carmen, founder of Pink Stiletto cosmetics. Hailing from Queens and now residing in Philly, this woman is seriously the stuff dreams are made of: she is an integral part of the plus size fashion scene along the eastern…

De-Program Yourself from Slut Shaming

Jul 13, 2015 Slut shaming is one of the deepest internalized prejudices that most people seem to have, regardless of gender. Even with my extremely liberal upbringing and a very conscious effort as an adult to deprogram deep-seated misogyny and macro/microaggressive racism, I still find myself judging other women and my own sexual past harshly…

How To Be Body Positive During Sex

Jul 27, 2015 Prior to my ex, I always tried to figure out a way to cover up my body when it came to sex. I was a big believer in “fake it ‘til you make it” and developed a dual persona in my later teen years: the big, bombastic, confident fat woman that was…

Processing Victim Blaming and Chrissie Hynde

  As I got older, Chrissie Hynde became one of my rock heroes. I cut my hair like her and dyed it dark, rimming my eyes will heavy kohl liner on the bottom. I’d wear menswear inspired pieces unbuttoned low with tight jeans, vests, and heels. I did karaoke to “Tattooed Love Boys” and winked…

Re-thinking the She-Rection: Navigating HSDD

Sep 10, 2015 Three years and three rounds of anti-depressants later, things are not as hot or as frequent as they used to be.  Pop culture and porn all tell me that I am supposed to be having the best orgasms of my life more often and more frequently. I’m supposed to be fucking like…

How My Abortion Made Me A Better Person

Sep 23, 2015 Recently, Congress voted to de-fund Planned Parenthood in an attempt to shut down access to abortions. Representative Judy Chu, a democrat from California, accurately described it as a “witch hunt to scare providers from providing abortions” as Republicans showed doctored videos of fetuses, suggesting that doctors did nothing when botched abortions occurred. …

How The Porn Industry Is Getting Seriously Feminist

11/21/15 A couple of months ago, I spoke with local feminist porn stars and producers Courtney Trouble and Kitty Stryker of Trouble Films and (soon-to-be) Stryker Studios. At the time, Kitty was still with Trouble Films. Photographer Suma Jane Dark, her assistant Margalit Carolinensis, and I met at Courtney Trouble’s home in Oakland to photograph the…

Jes Baker Tells Us The Things No One Tells Fat Girls

11/4/2015 Jes Baker and her crew of badass feminists took over San Francisco’s The Booksmith bookstore last week for Baker’s anticipated book release “Things No One Tells Fat Girls,” a brilliant body positive anthology composed of many different tales and perspectives on self-acceptance and unlearning patriarchal beauty standards. Accompanied by Sonya Renee Taylor, Virgie Tovar, Sam…

7 Things To Know About Dating a Bisexual Woman

  Nov 18, 2015 As a feminine woman who identifies as queer, I experience daily erasure of my identity from both the heterosexual world and from the queer community.  A lot of folks assume that because I present as feminine, and because I am with a cis hetero man, my life experiences prior to my…